I've been really focusing on listening in to what people in my life say and how it effects their experience of the world lately.
The reason? Late last year I started to get really stressed. I was suddenly using words like overwhelmed, time poor and frustrated in my daily language to Hugh and it was literally as though I was manifesting those feelings.
Because when I really tuned in, I was choosing to feel overwhelmed, time poor and stressed.
I was choosing to stay home and clean the house in the morning instead of taking my beach walk. I was choosing to refresh emails and continue to work in my business instead of on it. I was choosing to focus on the people who were telling me no instead of being grateful to those who are saying yes.
Once I became aware of the choices I was making around my feelings, I started to take action to change it. But I also consequently became more aware of people around me and their language.
Their were two types of personalities that I continued to notice over the last month of the year.
The types that were always convincing me that life is great
People who were assuring me that their life is hard.
And I'm 100% sure I don't want to be the latter.
You know the people I'm talking about. There are the ones who, despite things being a little tough at times, always let you know what is good. They tell you that things "aren't that bad" when you know it must be as hard as hell. They talk about their trips, their children's achievements, something they've recently done that impacted another person positively.
Then, there are the drainers.
They're the types that, when something good does happen, they let you know all the reasons it's not that good. They tell you that their new house is nice, but the pool is leaking. When you ask if it was nice seeing family and having time off over the holidays, they tell you why it wasn't. And if they get a new job that seems exciting, they'll tell you all the things wrong with it.
I was becoming a drainer. Not so much to the outside world, but to my husband and kids, who are the most important people for me to be my best self for. My new personality almost ruined Christmas (cue dramatic music and me smiling like the Grinch).
So for the first part of this year, I am and will continue to focus on my words. Not just to myself but to the people I love. And if you feel like things aren't as great as they can be, I would encourage you to do the same. Take notice of the way to respond in conversations and how those words are showing up in your life by choice at times.