:: ACCEPTANCE was a big part of 2017 for me
:: I didn't do enough GRATITUDE
Yup, I have a business called the Gratitude Project and I didn't live my truth this year.
It wasn't easy. This year saw more tears, more moments of exhaustion and more sadness than ever before. But this year also saw more good than I've ever had or experienced.
As high as I went, I fell that low.
So this morning I set myself up on my balcony to journal. In the background, Bo was playing with her new talking toy from Santa. Harper was banging a hairbrush and singing very loud with the beat. Somehow they had turned the TV on (sports channel, of all things) and I had my mantras playing on the Bose.
So. Much. Noise.
But I was set down on the mat, ready to journal and I wasn't giving up.
So instead of doing what's been easy for me this year, blaming my environment on my state, I took charge of how I wanted to feel. I wrote. I wrote about why I was grateful for the noise and messiness of my home. I wrote about how lucky I am to have these two little girls in my life. I wrote about where I'm lucky enough to be sitting, with limited beach views and a breeze.
And I realised as I was writing that I was comparing.
But... Isn't comparison wrong?!
I've always lived by this truth, don't compare. It doesn't help. I remember Julie Parker once saying that comparison is just procrastination. But, here I am, using my gratitude practice to compare to others.
"How lucky I am to have these children, some other people would give anything to have their own"
"This breeze, this beautiful breeze I have when some people are trapped in places where they won't feel this air on their body"
And it got me thinking that maybe comparing is ok, maybe we can compare at times. With boundaries.
:: I choose not to use comparison to feel superior to another human, but to bring acknowledgement to my current situation.
:: I choose not to use it to bring others down, but to give myself perception of what I have in my life.
:: And I could even choose to use it to help others when the situation permits.
So next time I'm using comparison to bring myself down, I'm going to remember that there are moments when I use it to lift me up. I get to choose how I do it.
I just need to stay conscious.