I’m not even joking when I say that I have been waiting for Hugh since I was 12.
I remember being at my besties house, we had just finished jumping on the bed (why don’t we do that more often as we get older?) and we were on a natural high from the endorphins of being young, care free and having a sleep over on a school night.
I remember I was laying on my belly on her queen bed, such a luxury back then, hot and giggling and talking about the kind of boys we wanted to marry. This was back at a time when you would meet someone at the local shopping centre and go to the movies, only to figure out you didn’t like them, pretend to leave for the loo and never go back. Then awkwardly run into them at KFC 20 minutes later and have to hide in the toilets.
The boys smelt heavily of lynx and had ZERO game.
Hormones were raging so we didn’t really care.
We just wanted to have our first pash and find someone to hold hands with at late night shopping while buying lip smackers and flared jeans.
The desire to be ‘seeing’ someone who pretty much ignored you in person but was keen AF on MSN messenger ran strong.
Anyway, back to manifesting..
I can remember EVERYTHING about the night I called in Hugh. The bed spread was yellow. My hair was out. The vision was clear. I still obsessed over Dean Cain (poster of my childhood crushes while everyone was mad for JTT) and knew that I wanted a husband who looked just like him.
For those who don't know, this is Dean Cain.
Tell me I didn't kind of hit the nail on the head? They could be brothers!
I remember telling my bestie that I wanted a husband who was a little more shy, kind of quiet but would open up and tell me his deepest dreams and fears. I wanted someone who would play, be fun and have a sense of humour to know when I was being my sarcastic self and when I was really annoyed. I wanted someone who would think I was great. Who would enjoy the little parts of me that other people didn’t notice sometimes.
The dream, right?
Well, it was for me.
And I remember in my young naivety honestly knowing and believing not only that I would find him, but that he would fall in love with me too.
When I first met Hugh, I was 16. Still young, still naive. And it wasn’t your typical romance. He wasn’t in to me at all. I was WAY too young and I worked for him. But the second I met him I told my friend
“I’m going to marry that guy one day”
And we laughed and went to buy chocolate milk, her thinking I was joking and me knowing 100% that this was truth coming from my mouth.
So how did I manifest him?
:: I believed that he was out there.
Everything I wanted and craved in a partner. And recently my friend Ezzie told me that she knows there is an abundance of perfect partners in the world for her, she just needed to find the one that was everything for her in her life. I LOVED that! I love the thought that if not Hugh, the universe would’ve aligned me with a man who made me feel all the things that give me joy as a reward for simply believing and knowing men like this existed.
:: I believed that I was worthy.
I suppose I was lucky that I didn’t have the limiting thoughts that can come with living through your 20’s looking for the one. At the age I was, I felt totally worthy. I deserved everything I dreamt of. Because in my mind, love is a non negotiable. To love is the meaning of life for me and I believed that I was worthy of the best kind, because this is for life, right? And I sure as hell didn’t want to settle for something less than amazing for life.
:: I believed in imperfect beginnings.
Yes, we were no fairy tale. When I met Hugh I was too young. He had a gorgeous girlfriend already. I worked for him. My parents would’ve murdered me for dating someone 10 years older. But a year into our friendship, we decided to give it a chance. And it was tricky. I was sure of him! I knew he was the one for me and I loved him. I told him I loved him. He said ‘thank you’ in return! My heart should’ve broken for all the road blocks that came our way but I believe it set me up for the realistic side of love, it’s not always perfect. We will fight, we will disagree, we will grow and we will question everything. Hopefully we do all of those things, good and bad, for the rest of our lives.
And if I could tell you one thing, it’s obviously to believe. Either in what you already have and what you deserve or believe in truth that he is out there, in many forms, waiting for you also. You’ve got to be open and you’ve got to be willing to let love in, however that looks.