A friend sent a message last week after I posted my recipe for Bulletproof Chocolate Ice Cream saying -
"I like your new tone, you're cheekier, more you in your posts now."
And it totally got me thinking.
In a way, I've changed. My tone, my playfulness, my voice. But as I pondered on this I realised that I was finally living a truth I've been speaking for years now.
"You are in no way entitled to be the person you were yesterday, last week or a year ago. You are allowed to decide in this moment what the best version of you looks like."
And that's what's happened.
Yes, I'm more me now. Those who know me well know that I'm sarcastic to a level that I sometimes don't know how not to be, I think I'm hilarious (to a fault) and I'm very playful. But that probably didn't come across in my earlier blog posts over the past 3 years.
Was I being inauthentic?
Not at all! I was authentically being me writing with a touch of fear. Fear of judgement, fear of no responses and fear of negatives ones. Fear of looking stupid, fear of looking like a know it all and fear of people just looking in general. I did used to go over my blog posts to make sure I was being neutral, not offending and not being 'too much' for anyone.
But I kind of got sick of that.
I've come to a point in my life where my career is extremely important. No longer a side hobby but actually the thing that keeps us with money in the bank to eat, sleep and learn. So right now, I'm being pushed. I'm working harder than ever, more than ever and because my career is now encompassing more of my life than ever before, the fear had to give.
I had to become comfortable being me in my job, because it's now a large portion of my life.
And I love it.
But one thing I realised when thinking back over the last 6 months is that the tone of the emails and clients I'm getting is changing. The people I'm attracting are feeling that permission also to just be them.
Think about it. Stepping into your life as the purest most authentic version of yourself. Feel that warmth... Good, right?
Not waking up and feeling low because you don't want to meditate and a green smoothie is not more appetising than a double shot espresso. Not scrolling Instagram and realising that your latest #girlcrush is 'doing the things' that you think you should be.
Just doing you.
With your quirks. With your individuality. With your whole heart and soul.
And remembering that this version of you can change in any moment. You are no way entitled to be the person you were 5 minutes ago or 5 years ago. I know that as my voice and attitude on here has changed, so it will again! I know that my opinions will develop and change. I know that what I believe now might be different in a year. I know that I will always speak my truth, sometimes with a shake in my voice but it will always be my truth at that time. And that might change.
Is it time you gave yourself permission to be you? You right now, the you that radiates in this moment. Despite everything.
Just. Be. You.