Things worth having are usually easy to talk about, not so easy to action.
Eating well seems like the road to the best life ever but if it were as easy as to make yourself some kale chips as it is to buy a chocolate bar then wouldn’t we all be thriving in our health?
Working out will make you feel the best you’ve ever felt but how much easier is it to binge watch Game of Thrones over a session with a PT?
And, of course, how much easier is it to say you love yourself, than to actually feel it?
This is the issue I face with so many women today. They can’t love themselves. They’ve never been taught how.
So if you can’t feel love for yourself, the one person who you have complete control over loving, is there any hope? You act in a way that you feel is right, appropriate and kind. You get to be any type of person that you want. Each and every day, you choose who you want to be. You get to choose the best version of you and say yes to it. You never wake up forced to be the person you were yesterday. It is in your complete control to write your inner truth.
But for most of your life, your inner truth has been very much the opposite of love. From a young age you decided that your eyes were too far apart or your thighs were too close together. You saw a girl or woman who you deemed as ‘beautiful’ and somehow didn’t realise that someone else beauty doesn’t diminish your own. Maybe you coloured your hair to be more like her and then felt the crushing disappointment when being brunette didn’t make you look different enough.
Then the awkwardness. Oh, the awkwardness of being a teen. As if puberty isn’t physically crushing enough for us but we then have to deal with the social side of not feeling quite right. Those moments that stick like saying something stupid in front of your crush or falling over in front of the whole class. Then you label yourself as stupid or clumsy and let that name tag stick like superglue to your personality. Forever you remind yourself of that label and use it like an excuse. Then it manifests into your truth because it’s shown that if you constantly tell yourself you are something, you will most likely become it.
So during these pivotal years of development we create a story that tells us that we are not enough. Pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough, rich enough or thin enough.
And now I’m here telling you that you are enough. And you’re meant to just believe it?
I have one recommendation to get you loving yourself in a way that feels authentic and real to you.
Start where you are.
Start with things you actually love about yourself. Each day take a moment to reflect back over the day. Did you love that you helped someone at work who was struggling? Did you love that you caught your reflection and admired your beautiful eye colour? Did you love that you got your butt to the gym this morning?
Some days you’ll only be able to pull out that you love your pinky toe. Some days will be tough and that’s totally ok. Just choose something every single day and keep putting your focus on love instead of loathing. Because what you focus on expands. In the same way that thinking about what you dislike makes you loathe it even more, focusing on what you love makes you appreciate it on another level (side note: this is the exact recipe of gratitude).
Start where you are. Love what you can and let it expand. But this doesn’t work without you putting in the work.
Beyond telling yourself what you love about you, another amazing way is to SHOW yourself. There is nothing quite like feeling taken care of and your body and spirit feel it too. Don't wait for someone else to make you feel worthy, enough or loved. Feel it for yourself. Start today with my free eBook 30 Days of Self Love.