To be honest, I was trying to think of a clever blog post title and that’s what came up. I suppose what our subconscious mind puts in front of us is always there for some reason, so why not roll with it?
I just finished my Yoga Teacher Training about 3 weeks ago and, if I’m totally real here, it was NOT what I expected.
What I thought I was getting into -
:: becoming super flexy
:: epic strength and a lean physique
:: total spiritual enlightenment
:: inner peace
:: gold beams to literally radiate from my being
So you can imagine I was being super realistic and I also tend to have a pretty dreamy creative mind.
But I got something different, really different to even what my practical mind expected and I wanted to share it with you and the gratitude towards my mentor Madonna...
This was the most challenging 6 months of my life.
I had a baby, I went back to work two weeks later, I was adjusting to my husband working from home after the last 12 years of our relationship we had lived seeing each other mostly in the evenings and weekends and I was kind of struggling.
I probably haven’t been open about how that all was for me, maybe another time, but it wasn’t the walk in the park it looked like. But I remember the day I was sitting with my newborn reading my emails and your name popped up.
You’ve been in my life since I was a tiny little human, teaching my mum aerobics with the two of you in lycra dancing around while I sat in the creche and played. I’ve been in and out of yours as you have been mine, but you’ve always left your mark on me, either in me walking away smelling like a new essential oil or the feeling of relaxation from a yin class filled with your signature style of relaxation. But it was Hugh and not me that noticed the impact you have on my state.
So when this email came into my inbox and I laughed to Hugh that you suggested I do my Yoga Teacher Training he was all in.
I didn’t understand! I had a two month old and here were two people in my life that I respected telling me to be AWAY from her? How would I do it? She needed me and my milk and I needed her. It just didn’t seem possible. But your words resonated with him and eventually me also.
“Ange, I think this would be the ultimate form of self care during this time in your life”
And you were right.
At the beginning I resisted. I woke up the mornings of training and stressed about getting everything I needed. Breast pump, food for me, breast feeding friendly tops that also were yoga friendly, jumpers and tissues incase I cried (which I did). I stressed and would count the moments until the lunch breaks when I would see her for a cuddle and feed. But about half way through I figured out what you meant.
Somehow, as mothers we believe we can’t do for ourselves. Selfishly and completely doing something for just us. But I did it. It was hard and it was worth it. Because once I pushed through the resistance, I felt so inspired. It wasn’t about the flexibility, it was about doing this not only for how I could help others but how it helped me. Because Yoga isn’t about the movements, it’s about how we show up in life and as I told you on our last day, what’s happening in my life is always reflected on my mat. Whatever I was feeling in life was amplified in my practice. If I felt unsure, I wobbled. If I felt flakey I wouldn’t focus on technique. But when I felt strong, I stood tall and when I was grounded in my choices you couldn’t push my over with any amount of might because I was strong.
Yoga taught me how to go within again. Yoga taught me to focus on myself again. And not only was it good for me as a mother, it was beneficial to my family because of who I became through my training.
You gave me this gift, you help me and supported me, intuitively knowing what I needed.
Thank you for giving me that Yoga Retreat feeling in my everyday life!
SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU?
If you’ve been thinking about becoming a Yogi in your own right, not only learning asanas but diving into he world of chanting, mudras and meditation and your intention feels pure - look deeper into doing something like this yourself! And if you’re on the Gold Coast I urge you to let your transformation take place under the guidance of my gorgeous mentor Madonna, someone who radiates yoga in her entirety.
You can now join her 2018 intake for YTT by clicking the link below. I give it my full love and radiating recommendation!