How to stay light when you're surrounded by negativity.
It’s happened to all of us.
You drive into work on a high. It’s a beautiful day, you went for a walk this morning and you’re feeling energised. Dinner is in the slow cooker for when you get home and your morning meditation actually lasted an easy 20 minutes. You float into work ready to take on the day, connecting with people and doing what you can to be the best you can.
Then SHE walks in. You can just see it. She’s in a mood. Her head is down as she stomps to her desk in a huff and throws her bag on the floor.
You try to keep your flow of positivity going by ignoring her and focusing on what’s in front of you, the work you need to get done. Then it happens. You blink and she’s at your desk, moaning about the fight she just had with her bestie, the traffic getting to work and how she’s been going to pilates for 6 whole weeks but she still doesn’t have flat abs.
You’re drawn in.
Your energy is being sucked right out of you.
And now you’re complaining about your boss and feeding into this cycle.
My most common question I receive, almost daily is:
“How do I stay positive when people around me are JUST. SO. NEGATIVE?"
I promise you right now, there are ways. I know. I’ve lived it. I’ve coached people through it and now I’m going to share with you exactly how to move forward.
The biggest lesson I learnt from working with an extremely difficult female in my late teens was that I’m not responsible for her attitude, I’m purely responsible for my response to her energy.
Observe what you do when you’re dealing with someones negativity.
:: Do you buy into the story and give in to it’s power?
:: Are you participating in harmful gossip about someone you do or don’t know?
:: Are you judging someone or criticising the way they choose to wear their hair/style their home/raise their children?
If it feels bad, it’s probably time to stop. Start really paying attention to the physical messages that your body gives you. People tend to slouch when they are unauthentically taking part in a bitch fest they don’t want to do in, where as the leader will be loud and proud standing up taller than usual in order to look over their own guilt.
Speaking negatively about someone else isn’t just mean to them. It’s putting harmful energy into your own mind and mouth, contributing to your own state of unhappiness. It’s disrespectful to the person and to your own beautiful soul.
Complaining is also extremely unproductive. If you feel like someone is constantly complaining about something at work, don’t buy into it. If you’ve already been pulled into the problem, turn it around by focusing on creating a solution instead of magnifying it and wasting your thoughts on it.
I also believe it’s important to speak up when you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Is your mother in law constantly spouting her opinion on your unborn child without your request? Is your bestie making snide remarks about the extra love weight that’s appeared since you started in a new passionate relationship?
If negativity is not only surrounding you, but is directed at you, it’s time to speak up. Tell the person, lovingly, how you feel. Let them know in a very non judgemental way that this way of communicating with them really doesn’t work for you. Gently let them know how their words or actions are coming across as quite negative and make it clear that you’re not really into that right now.
But always be aware to come from a place of love, communicate constructively and in a way that doesn’t make the person who is spreading negativity feel like a complete energy drain.
Offer them some praise. If they are speaking negatively about a situation, they are either feeling unhappy, unappreciated or mis-understood. It’s amazing what a few words of encouragement and acknowledgement will do for a persons self esteem. You don’t want to leave the conversation with someone feeling low or judged. You want everyone to walk away feeling uplifted and like they can flip their view point around also.
If you want to be the light, no one needs to stop you. If you’re constantly living from a place of positivity and love, you will involuntarily give permission for others to live in the same way. Don’t make it your lot in life to change everyone around you and start preaching to them that they need to see the bright side of life. If they want to learn more about positivity, they will. But let each individual have their journey. You can positively influence them quietly, by living in the light, coming from love at all moments and sneaking to their desk and opening up my website for when they get back from lunch (kind of kidding, kind of not).
If you’re surrounded by negativity, if you’re struggling to stay happy, light and positive in an environment you’re in often, then use these techniques.
Be the light, give others permission to shine also.
If you’re having trouble finding your own light, I’m now opening up spaces for you to start up one on one coaching with me in the new year. Have a read through my current 1:1 packages HERE to see if you’re ready to let me coach you through challenging relationships, confusing career paths and most importantly - your over all health and nutrition needs.